I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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