Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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