Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
