She is in my trunk
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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