Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize