THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
