Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
