my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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