My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
How's work?
Spinning.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
