your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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