When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
only you would photoshop your dick
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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