I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
