First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
