Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize