Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
