How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
