so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
no, he came in my armpit
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
