she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
