very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
