Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
we're so committed to being not committed
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
