I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
