He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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