that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
