Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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