she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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