I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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