If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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