Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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