He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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