Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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