I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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