Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
