so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Less talking, more tequila
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
