I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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