shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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