Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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