I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
