i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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