haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
