Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
