Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
