Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
the day after is always just damage control
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
