Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
