I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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