Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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