Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
