ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I could make wine with my vomit
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
