Having a random hookup so left but love u
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
