What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
