i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
