; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
