I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
