there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
