she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
