there was a trapeze. enough said
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
