The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
